Stages of love 

"When you came into my life, I had no idea you would be this important to me" 
A very common used phrase to describe the unexpected yet beautiful encounter with your significant ones. 

It's scary. The moment you meet someone and suddenly you start to have feelings for them. Bit by bit as the day pass by the seed that they managed to plant inside of you grew. They have now the ability to break you to built you at any point of time.


It's beautiful when people know you more and more and knows your favorite things to do, eats and the list goes on and that including the things that you dislike and not because you constantly remind them about it but because they pay attention to everything.


"I want to grow old with you" You know that feeling in your stomach when you meet your significant one? That moment when you're just looking at them and it feels as if the world has just stopped and everything just seems to revolve around them. All eyes on them or maybe, just your eyes. That feeling is amazing. 

When their absence drives you crazy when they are away for a trip or just busy with their work for days or when you have a lot of clothes but no matter how many clothes or how much money they have, your significant one will always take your clothes to wear it.On top of that, you have the tendency to wear couple outfits. I'm not talking about Mickey and Minnie shirts that say "He's mine" or "She's mine" at the back but, color coded outfits or matching themed outfit.

They start to become the reflection of everything you do. You take turns to take care of each other when one falls sick. Surprising them with a "Get better soon package" after work or after when they listened to your audio note and realized you sounded so sick and need some "Get better soon package" delivered to your house regardless of the time. 11:45 pm, 12:44 AM or even later than that.

Everything is just so cheesy yet lovely. Their voice became your favorite sound and their laughter became your favorite song. Their heartbeat became your favorite rhythm. Their face seems to be a masterpiece and their smile makes you smile. You get tongue-tied each time you go out on a date with them. 

You miss them right after you part or are about to part even when you have spent almost the whole day together so the least favorite of your day with them would be giving them that "long tight hug" before saying goodbye for the night.



When you know your partner loves something, you automatically take the initiative to bring them there or do the activity that they love to do despite, maybe, not liking the place or activity. It's a bonus if you do like the things that they like.

When you are frustrated or upset over something which by right you shouldn't be because they are not doing it on purpose but you choose to compromise certain things because you don't want them to be unhappy or upset either. 

When you have been living all your life being in a relationship with a couple of people and you have been dealing with a certain situation the same way you have always handle it with but then when your partner comes along you just change the way you deal with the situation hoping it will make things better between the both of you. 

Also little effort like, when your partner has planned with their relatives or friends but you mentioned you're craving for something. An event, or perhaps, a food so they initiated to cancel their plans to meet you instead without you asking them to do so. 



The 20% of what we call it, "the negative side of a person" or should i just put it as "less favorable side of a person". From the mood swings, the angsty days, the cold side of them, the side that you wish doesn't exist but they do. You can't really change that part. Everyone has them but not everyone has the same one. You need to understand that this 20% will challenge your love for your lover. It's either you take it and live with it or you leave it and at the same time leaving them as well. 

Being in a relationship isn't about just honeymoon period, it's about everything. From seeing them for the first time, getting to know them process, having the honeymoon period then the mood swings, the fights, the arguments, the flaws. It is also about choosing to stay and fight for them even when the spark runs dry or when things get tough and challenging for both parties. It's always a matter of choice to keep making the spark alive and then choosing to fix the broken pieces unless if you have another person in your life then please do them a favor and end your relationship. If you have loved them enough there won't be another one in your life. 


The beauty of building a relationship is the part whereby you make an effort to find out what kind of a person he or she is. Learning how they were brought up, who they look up to and what drives them.Ask them what do they feel about the relationship once in a while. Acknowledge it, accept it and work on it after that or if it's something that you can't work on then move on from it. If they feel restricted then do something about it, find ways so that they won't feel restricted anymore.

Take them out for a heart to heart talk, to the beach perhaps. Get some drinks and have a picnic date or something along the idea. Ask them what and how they see their future like? Is it with you in it or is it not. Hear what they have to say, this is the time where the truth will come out. Expect a lot of silence yet beautiful moments as both of you will be truly thinking of the answers to all the question that will be thrown out during this talk. 

Disclaimer : You will find out a lot of things from the conversation. Do not react instantly during the conversation. Let your mind digest everything first, be open and receptive to everything that has been said by your partner. Even when it is hurtful. It won't work if you keep interrupting. You will only get what you want to hear in the end as your partner will hide the more truthful things, in the end knowing you won't be receptive and keep reacting negatively to everything they said. 




Understand what you want in life, in your partner, in your career and in your goals in life. Don't get into a relationship when you can't even manage your own self and stability. Know what ticks you and what doesn't. Know what's your habits, the good and the bad ones. Seek out for help once in a while when you need it, drop the ego. 



When you finally came to a conclusion that you can't support your partner, or not a good match for your partner then it's time to let them go. Even when you love them so much, love them enough to let them go as you know it will bring the both of you no good in the future even if you hold on to them for the longest. The results will still be the same.

Let them go, don't trap them from growing and discovering what they can achieve without you or when they are with someone else instead. Love yourself enough to let them go as you will be the one that is hurting badly when you are forced to let go of them instead of letting them go willingly for the greater good because you love them. 

Even when they are not ready to let go of you yet, be the stronger one and do it for the both of you. They know deep down, at the back of their mind and deep in their heart, even when they love you as much as you love them, it won't work. Be it because of religious wise, family wise or worst gender wise. 

"I've been thinking of doing something but.. I'm not ready to do it yet."
"What is it that you're not ready to do?" 
"To pray and ask for guidance. I know if i do that, I will have to let go of you eventually and I'm not ready to do that. Cause... I will miss you"



When you fail to let go of the person you love, you will do anything in your power to keep them as they are even when they hurt you, treating you badly intentionally in hopes that you will stop having feelings for them. 

It then tears you apart every single time that they do when things get too intense between the both of you or when the both of you got too close and it reminded the both of you the times you were both together as a lover.



As much as you're hurting, they are hurting too. It tears them apart every single time they have to pretend that they don't want to talk to you, meet you, hear your voice, see your face, being wrapped in your arms and then get lost in time when you're both around each other. 



There's nothing you can do to change what has already happened. If it's meant to be, it will be and if it's not meant to be then it wouldn't be. Just cherish the moments that you have with each other even when it's not the same as how it was before or how it can't be like how it was before. 

Borrow the strength from the little bundle of happiness that you get from those moments. It will help you, bit by bit. Day by day. Month by month. Year by year. It doesn't matter how fast or how slow you're taking.

We are not in a race. You're doing this for yourself but of course, anyone in their right mind will want to get over this process in the shortest period of time, as short as possible. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, it will definitely take time but it will be worth it. 





You got to stop holding on to them, you got to set yourself free. You're only making it difficult and making the process of moving on longer. You will be fine, you will feel better; when you finally stop letting them control your heart. Be strong and stand on your feet. 


Started: 4/4/16
Revised: 21/11/16

Life as we know it

We all know that all good things must come to an end. Well, this is life. Everything that happens here and everyone who have entered your life is just for a temporary. Just like a video game. There are a start and an end to everything but there's no pause. My mom always reminds me that, "We are only visiting this place. Soon, we will return to the almighty" The thought of it really scares me every time I think of death and I am not prepared for it. Well, who does anyway? But I do hope that by the end of my blogging journey I have succeeded to achieve all sorts of goals in life and done enough of good deeds in this world.

Before this, I was watching a Malaysian movie called "Biar mimpi sampai ke bintang" which similarly means to "Dream big" and the direct translation is "Let the dream come to the star." Moving on from that, I would like to share a favorite quote from that movie which is, "Kalau nak mimpi biar sampai ke bintang, kalau tak tercapai pun dapat sampai ke langit pun jadi." Which also means that if you want to dream let the dream reaches the star and if you don't reach it at least you get to reach to the cloud."

The beginning

So it goes like this. I have been thinking about writing lately. I have this sudden urge, this passion to write. This is a story after what I have been through in my life. Be it my love life, school, friendship, hardship, mistakes, responsibilities and so on. The irony of life is that we have to go through the bad to taste the sweeter and better taste of life.

"After a hurricane comes a rainbow. - Katy Perry"

As a human being we have all been confused from time to time. Confused on what to do. How to handle a situation, how to start a conversation, what should you do from here, to give up or not to give up etc. Some situation we need someone who we can really rely on for his or her opinion but we cannot rely on these trusted people always cause at times people can't always be there for us. They have their own life to live, problems, errands to run to so we got to be our own hero at times. Whatever you do, just don't rush on your final decision and there's always a solution to every problem. How do you know if it's the right decision? You will know. It will just feel right and if isn't then it is just how it's suppose to be. After all everything happen for a reason. I know you heard this line many times before but it is true. I myself heard of if many times before as well and we all just wish that we know what are the reasons to why some things happen to us or to other people. Only god knows.

We have all struggled in life. Be it your childhood, school life, work life, love life, marriage life or even when you have aged old enough till you can't take your own fork and spoon to eat. What keeps us going is our strength. Our will. Hope and faith. We will all never know how strong we are till being strong is the only choice we have.

Friendship

I have a bestfriend, let's just call her Perry. Even though I know her for almost four years now, I feel like we have known each other for more than that. We could read each other like a book. We have our differences and similarities but we still get along just fine. Too fine, actually. She don't eat beef while me on the other side practically eats everything. Well not really but I'm sure you know what I mean. She likes to go shopping and I love to shop as well so we make a very good and at the same time bad duo. We may not be there for each other all of the times but we still update each other every now and then on what has been going on with our life. Things are way different now. We are growing up. We have our own life to run. All i know is that, when the time comes. I'll holla her up and she'll be there for starbuck dates.

Friends don't betray each other and always remember this...
With clothes, the newer, the better; with friends, the older, the better.